Do you figure at Number One on your to-do list?
How you spend your money, time and energy is a very easy way to map your self-love quotient.
Apart from various needs, necessities and duties, how much of these three you channel towards your own life, growth and well-being often shows how much you prioritise yourself. There is always a chore to finish, a commitment to meet, a job to be done – but on your to do list where exactly do you figure on your daily schedule is a good place to begin when you are working on your selflove project.
There’s work, there’s daily mundane details and then there’s social media – how and where your energy is squandered over calls and meetings and emails? Do you keep track? We often do not wake up to our duties before our body gives us a wakeup call – an ailment, a disorder.
But the truth is that the only way to be in sync with your soul-needs is through a daily ritual, a routine, a goal.
A simple thing I follow is to do three things during the day, straight from the heart – something that is utterly, selfishly simple personal gratification. It can be having a cup of hot chocolate at a café, putting on a crazy shade of nail-colour or even just taking half an hour to go browse books at a bookstore. Things that have nothing to do with anybody – and very essentially me.
It is not that I do these things as pick-me-ups on a dull day. I treat these as serious business. I get an immense sense of wellbeing from these tiny chunks of indulgence that I chisel out from my packed day. And these are places from where I draw an immense sense of wellbeing – no matter what.
There are two things which are absolutely unnecessary – one to feel guilty about spending time on your own self. The other thing which is absolutely unnecessary is to feel guilty of spending your own money on your own self. Selflove is about self-awareness too. A good place to start your selflove journey is by creating a selflove journal.
Step 1: Sit down with a pretty notebook and make a list of the stuff that makes you absolutely delirious.
Here’s a clue: Often these simple mundane feelgood activities, in all honesty will not come to you from your adult experience, so start looking at your carefree childhood memories for things that your loved doing then. Was it drawing with colours? Was it playing with your dog? Was it eating ice-cream? Was it eating pickle? It could well be an adult hobby like playing golf that brings you great joy – but childhood favourites are often key to pure bliss, even in adulthood. I don’t know what brought you great joy as a child, but chances are your clue to joy in adult life could also be in doing those once in a while. I loved books and drawing since I was a kid and for me it is very easy to reconnect with my joy, the moment I pick up paper and colour to create something. It is as easy as that.
Step 2: Make a detailed list of as many things that honestly make you happy. Make a list of people around whom you feel happy. Make a list of places where you feel joyous. Make a list of food stuff that makes you full and content. Make a list of activities that makes you feel at the top of the world.
Step 3: Once your have created a list, it gets very easy to identify where your joy lies. All you now have to do is meet your happy people more often, visit your happy places more frequently and eat your happy foods more and finally do your happy things more frequently.
You should at the same time, also make a list of places, things, people and activities which you absolutely dislike. An honest look at both these lists will tell you something about yourself and where your joy lies. If you are spending more time, energy and money on your ‘dislike’ areas, you would know that you have a lot of self-loving to do.
Make a switch. Start small. Take it up as a daily ritual – over three weeks, a simple selflove routine will transform you and show you truths about yourself that you did not know existed.